


Lost and Found

by moriartyswife



Category: Durarara!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 05:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9420848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriartyswife/pseuds/moriartyswife
Summary: The world is a dark place. At almost three years old, I'd lived a lifetime in the darkness. Being alone in the world kept me alive. Things changed when I met a young man in a white lab coat and black square glasses, who smiled at me like I mattered to him. My small dark world was about to get much bigger and brighter. Unless, I ruin my chance at having a family with my secrets.





	1. Chapter 1

                The world is a dark place. At almost three years old, I’d lived a lifetime in the darkness. Even now, it surrounds me. All the bright lights in the city couldn’t push it away. Rain fell steadily from the sky, soaking my cardboard patched roof that fit snuggly between a dumpster and the rough brick wall in the alleyway.

                Although, for now, I was relatively dry, it was only a matter time before my roof crumbled around me. The stale, moldy bread that someone had thrown away made me sick to my stomach. Chewing hurt my jaws but I had to eat today. My stomach clenched, disgusted by the rotting bread, but grateful for something to devour other than itself.

                Today would be the first day I met him. How he found me remained a mystery to me. This city wasn’t kind, not to me. No one noticed. I stole from dumpsters in the dark and kept my distance from onlookers. They’d take pity on me. They’d think they were saving me. When the reality was that they were lying to themselves. People send kids off the streets to foster care to ease their own guilty consciousness’. They’d continue their lives believing that they’d somehow bettered my life.

                They’d never know.

                Foster homes were cruel places for little girls like me. I was too smart for my own good. There was even less food and if wasn’t quick enough, there would be none. The other kids tormented and taunted me. They laughed and made fun. I wanted to kill them all.

                But today, things changed.

                Today, a young man in a white lab coat and square black glasses knelt in front of my makeshift home… and smiled at me. “Hello.”

                I blinked. Maybe if I’m silent, he’ll leave me alone. Tearing off another nibble of bread with my teeth, I tried to ignore him.

                “I see. A little loner, are we? I saw you fall out of the dumpster behind that café. It must have hurt,” he continued looking at my bleeding, skinned knee.

                He must be what they call a doctor. I’ve only ever seen one once before. One of my so called foster siblings mysteriously stepped on a perfectly placed sliver of broken glass. He had to have twelve stitches on the bottom of his foot and still has trouble walking on it.

                “Not a talker, huh? I guess I am a stranger. My name is Shinra Kishitani. Can I patch up your knee?” He reached out slowly, waiting to see if I pulled away. When I didn’t, he opened his medical bag. “Good! For a minute, I thought you didn’t like me!” His laugh was… nice. Friendly.

                I watched Shinra clean and bandage the wound, placing a sticker band-aid over the wrap. He then offered me his hand. “How does a warm meal and dry bed sound? This part of the city gets pretty scary after dark.”

                No one ever taught me not to talk to strangers. My parents didn’t teach me much of anything before I ended up another number in the system. But Shinra didn’t feel dangerous… not like so many other people I’d encountered in my short life. And all that did sound appealing.

                Placing my small hand in his, Shinra smiled and helped me up, squeezing my hand gently. He led me out to the sidewalk’s edge and a cab rolled up to a stop in front of his. Releasing my hand to open the door, Shinra tried to balance his bag and umbrella in his other hand.

                There was no way I was getting into that monstrous thing. They moved much too fast and I refused to get in. when I took a step back, I thought this was a mistake. I should have never left the safety of my solitude. Being alone in the world kept me alive.

                “It’s alright,” Shinra said, making sure the umbrella stayed above me, allowing himself to get wet. “If you don’t want to take a car, we can walk. Though it is a long way in this rain.” He rested his finger on his chin. “Ah ha! Russia’s sushi is right around the corner. We could duck in there to wait for the rain to pass.” Again, he offered me his hand.

                Something about the gesture relaxed me. Maybe it was the choice. I could do whatever I wanted. I could say no… but I didn’t. Taking his hand for a second time, we walked down the city street and into a strange building.

                Shinra set his umbrella down and greeted the man behind the counter, leading me over to the stools. He pulled one out for me and waited.

                My shoe slid, causing me to almost fall. I tried a second time and climbed up into the seat. The chef glanced at me. “Who’s your friend, doc?”

                “Very cute friend! Little, but very adorable. Where you make friendship with her?” Another Russian man came around and smiled very big.

                “She’s… actually I don’t know her name. We just met.” Shinra settled into the chair next to me, still as friendly as before.

                “Well, you have a name kid?” The chef asked, starting on whatever Shinra had ordered.

                I stared at my dirty pants. Everything about me was a dirty mess. My dark purple hair had tangles in it. My clothes were worn and muddy, with holes chewed by rats. Even my shoes were cracking from old age. What did a name matter to a little forgotten girl? So, I shook my head.

                “You don’t seem so sure,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

                “Hey! If she doesn’t want to tell then she doesn’t have to!” Shinra started, jumping to my defense. He made no sense.

                “Kuro.” The word left my lips before I could think. I wanted him to know. “My… my name is Kuro.”

                Shinra rested his chin on his hand, smiling at me again. “Kuro. I like it. It suits you.”

                He had no idea how true that was. My name can translate to mean dark. Even my name brought it to me. I’d never be able to escape its horrible grip on my life.

                A platter of five sushi rolls slid in front of me. The smell wafted up to me and my mouth watered. Fresh food. Picking one up, I took a small bite, chewing slowly. The salmon on top tasted like the finest meat I’d ever eaten. After my third small bite, I glanced at Shinra, who was watching me eat with a laugh.

                “I imagined you might gobble it all up in one big bite… but you’re taking it slow, like it’s your last meal. Or your first. I can’t tell.”

                I lowered my head, still munching on the sushi. Strange emotions fluttered inside me. The rest of my meal was ate in silence. I wanted to make each bite last as long as possible. The rain had stopped by the time we left.

                “Have nice night little girl and Doctor Kishitani! Return soon okay?” Simone waved us off from the front door.

The walk to his apartment was long. If my fear of cars hadn’t been so severe, I would have caved and let him pay for a ride. Never the less, we arrived and he unlocked the door. “Celty, I’m home!” He sang, locking the door behind me. I followed his lead in taking off my shoes. “Aww… she’s not here! How about a bath then?”

                Shinra led me into a bathroom, turning on the water. He searched the cabinets while I stood and watched the water rise. Hesitantly, I reached out to touch it. “Warm…” I muttered and ran my hand back and forth. The few baths I’ve ever had were cold.

                “Found them! Celty likes to use bubbles sometimes but don’t tell her I told you that.” Shinra leaned over me and poured some liquid into the bath. It began to foam up into bubbles. “Ready to get in?”

                I nodded, mesmerized by the bubbles. I lifted my arms up when he pulled my shirt up. He froze so I looked at him. He looked… hurt? That wasn’t the right word. Angry? Maybe…

                “Kuro… are those burn marks?” He asked, gently touching the scars on my stomach.

                Lie, Kuro. That’s what I’d been taught to do. If any asks, lie. “N-No. They’re birthmarks… they’ve always been there.” I stuttered out.

                Shinra nodded his head slowly. “Okay, Kuro, it’s okay.” He took my shaking hands, rubbing circles on the tops with his thumbs. “How about that bath now?”

                He told me all about himself. He’s 24 and he’s a doctor, but not the kind that works in a hospital. His roommate, Celty, was a little different but he was confident that she would like me. Shinra only left for a moment to get clean clothes for me and to fix the futon in another room.

                I yawned, rubbing my eyes with my wet hand. I hadn’t been this clean in a long time. The dark t-shirt almost hit the floor. After my hair was dried with a towel, I followed Shinra to my temporary bed. He’d barely turned the light out before I drifted off to sleep.

                False hope. I knew I shouldn’t allow myself to become comfortable here. One night and I’d be back on my own again. That’s where I belonged. Being independent kept me alive and safer than when I’d lived in that house. The doctor, though, Shinra… he was kind. Too kind to a little girl who never mattered in this big world.

               

               


	2. Chapter 2

               There were no windows in this room, so telling the time was nearly impossible. Being a light sleeper, the front door slamming close woke me up, scaring me. My heart pounded in my chest, and I remembered where I was. Those people aren’t here. I drug myself out of the comfortable bed, despite my exhaustion. Peeking out the cracked door, I could see black shadows and smoke springing around in the living room. Maybe being curious wasn’t a good idea.

               “Celty, calm down,” Shinra said. Celty… that’s the woman he told me about, his roommate.

               Creeping out of the room, I took slow steps. This was a new layout. At the foster house, I knew each and every board that creaked. No one had answered Shinra. From the doorway, I could see a black orb floating in the center of the room, and Shinra wasn’t in here. Should I be afraid of it? Slowly walking up to it, I reached out to touch it. It doesn’t look dangerous.

               The orb disappeared and in its place, stood Shinra and a lady. As my eyes trailed upwards, I saw that she had no head. Her neck spouted black smoke. I rubbed my eyes. Is this a dream? Shinra laughed nervously, scooping me up. No one picked me up at the foster house…

               The headless lady typed on her phone and held it up. I’d been taught to read by some other kids at the park once. “Who is that?”

               “That’s what I wanted to tell you. Celty, this is Kuro. She’s going to be staying with us for a while,” Shinra said with a smile.

               A while?

               “Shinra, we can’t keep someone else’s kid like she’s a pet,” Celty typed, shaking her neck and shoulders. She acted like a regular person… except missing the head.

               “Don’t worry, Celty. Kuro isn’t a run away. Well, she kind of is, but she wants to stay here, right Kuro?” Shinra asked.

               I nodded my head. If it meant a comfortable bed, warm baths, and real food, I would stay here. It wouldn’t be long before my foster parents came looking for me. To them, I was a paycheck. They got so much for taking care of me, but none of the money ever went toward me.

               “See! She’s perfectly comfortable here. I’m going to take her back to bed,” Shinra said, still holding me. He swung me around a little on the way back to my room, making me smile a little. I hadn’t laughed in quite some time but he was funny. “Kuro,” Shinra started, setting me back down on the bed, “You can stay here for as long as you like.”

               I didn’t answer him, but covered my head with the comforter. He laughed and told me goodnight before leaving again. Stay as long as I like? Was it too hopeful to want to stay here forever? The real world didn’t work like I wanted it to. Falling asleep, I worried about what tomorrow would bring.

 

               The next morning, Shinra cooked breakfast for me. Biscuits, gravy, and eggs. It made my mouth water just from the smell. I can’t remember the last time I had a warm breakfast meal. Celty had come in with a bag full of kid’s clothes. She helped me get dressed into black leggings with hearts on them, a long sleeve sweater shirt and some white socks. A small pair of black boots sat by the front door. Now, sitting at the table, I felt sad. New clothes, new home. How long would it be until I was taken away from here?

               Shinra had just sat down when the doorbell rang. “Wonder who that could be,” he mused, leaving us to go answer it. Silence filled the room until Shinra said, “Well, yeah, she’s here but… hey! Wait-”

               “Kuro, dear!” My heart sank at the voice. My foster mom, Mrs. Otogai, waddled into the room, fake relief plastered all over her overly make-up stained face. “I’m so glad you’re alright!”

               My whole body went rigid. If she’s here… then he is too. All the food I’d eaten started to turn sour and I thought I might throw up. The heavy smell of cigarettes didn’t help my sick feeling. The closer she got, the worse I felt.

               “Taki, in here! Our little Kuro is safe and sound.” She stopped beside my chair, bending down to engulf me in a sweaty hug. Her lips hit my ear. “If you cause one problem, you won’t eat for a week,” she hissed.

               “Um, Kuro didn’t seem like she was feeling well. I’m a doctor so I could stop by-”

               Mr. Otogai cut him off. “We have a really good doctor. She’ll get taken care of.” His icy stare cut through me. Taken care of? I’d never seen a doctor more than twice since I’d been in their “care.”

               “If you’re finished eating, we have some errands to run before we go home.” She said, petting my head. There wasn’t an option to finish eating even if I had the stomach for it. They wanted to leave before someone said something to cops about me. “Everyone misses you.”

               Lies.

               Liar!

               I wanted to scream. Someone listen! Adults never listen. No one would do anything. Sliding out of the chair, I took Mrs. Otogai’s outstretched hand. Her grip hurt my hand, bringing tears to my eyes. Shinra knelt down. “Can I have a hug before you go?”

               Normally, any kind of affection made me angry. It never meant anything. It was all empty. But my legs moved before my mind. His arms wrapped around me tight. Hold in the tears. If you cry, you’ll be in trouble. My voice came out so quiet, I wasn’t sure I’d said it out loud. “Don’t make me go.”

               Shinra hugged me tighter. “It’s only temporary.” His words confused me.

               The Otogai’s ushered me out with lots of fake smiles and thank yous. Once I was buckled into my car seat, everything got quiet. The hum of the old car was the only things I could hear for the whole car ride. Through the window, I watched the streets become familiar. The sick feeling returned my stomach as the car turned into the driveway.

               The silence remained while they unbuckled me and walked me to the front door. The overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke and rotting food filled my lungs. It had only been about five days since I ran away, but the smell still got to me.

               Mr. Otogai locked the heavy deadbolt. “Guess I’ll have to check the locks more often,” He said as his wife waddled up the stairs. His rough, calloused hand slid into my hair so that he got a good grip before lifting me off the ground so that my feet barely touched. “You’re almost not worth the paycheck. Joben made a mess this morning with the trash. Clean it up,” he ordered, throwing me onto the linoleum floor.

               I slid further than I thought I would. Something slimy and wet soaked my new clothes. It smelled old. Swallowing back the puke, I tried to find somewhere around me that wasn’t covered in the soupy mess. It made my skin crawl. So dirty… The trash can had been set back up, but nothing else had been cleaned.

               “Your mom is making dinner in an hour. It better be spotless.”

               _Mom? She isn’t my mom. I hate her. I hate you. All of you!_ But I could never say that. I never talked here. They would hurt me. My eyes filled with tears as I scooped up the gunk with my hands. It squished through my fingers. A little sob escaped my lips.

               The chair sprung as Mr. Otogai stood up again. “Are you crying?” His hand went to his belt. He undid it and slid it out of the loops.

               I shook my head fast. _Just get it done._ If I hurry, I might be finished before Joben and Michio get home. Joben was their actual son. Michio was a foster kid like me. He used to be nice to me, but now he’s changed. Now I hate them all. Hot tears slid down my cheeks.

               “I’ll give you something to cry about you worthless little rat!” Otogai shouted, bringing the belt down on my shoulder. It flicked and also hit my cheek. The stinging pain made me yelp and fall back, knocking the trash can over again. Everything I’d cleaned up had been spilled again. “Useless! You’re fucking useless! I ought to beat the life out of you and burry you in the backyard! A dog is more useful than you! We give you shelter, food, and clothes. And this is how you repay us? Ungrateful,” His hit me again with the belt, this time the buckle struck my back. Ignoring my scream, he continued to strike with every adjective he describes me as. “Worthless. Waste of human life!”

               “Dad! You’ll kill her,” Joben dropped his backpack and ran over. He grabbed the belt before I was hit again. “She isn’t worth the jail time. Michio, take Kuro outside and wash her off. I’ll clean up this mess.” He looked down at me with pity in his eyes.

               “Come on, Kuro,” Michio pulled me up onto my feet from my fetal position. He made disgusted noises but took me out into the backyard. Turning on the water hose, he sprayed me down. The cold water numbed my skin. “You should just die.” Michio said as he turned the hose off.

               I wanted to die.

               If that meant getting away from this hell.

               Joben met us at the back door with a towel. “Mama says you have to go up to the punishment room. And no dinner.” He walked with me up to the room. It wasn’t a room. It was a closet. Dark. Musty. Cold. Joben didn’t smile when he shut the door in my face. I heard the loud click of the lock.

               I sat down in the corner with my knees pulled up to my chest. My clothes were still soaked, making me cold. Tears slid out of my eyes. Why did I end up here? I am worthless. I should have never been born. I deserve everything I’d been handed in life. That’s what Mr. Otogai would tell me. It was my fault. I was bad. I was wrong. Why else would I be here? And after the year of being here, I began to believe it was true. Worthless.   


	3. Chapter 3

               Through the crack in the floor, I noted that the sun had risen again. That makes the third morning in this dark closet. My clothes had finally dried, but the cold remained. My eyes hurt from straining to see without much light, and the pain in my empty stomach grew worse with each passing hour. Pulling my knees up to my chest again, I pressed my face against them to cry quietly. “Achoo!” I sneezed softly, wiping my arm across my nose as a tissue.

               It would be some time before I could attempt an escape again. Maybe I’ll leave the city this time. It would take a lot longer to find me. Shivering in the cold closet, my eyes focused on the shadow blocking the light from entering through the crack under the door. The clank of the lock made my heart leap. Are they going to feed me? As the door opened, I rubbed my eyes to adjust to the sudden light.

               A young man stared at me, one I’d never seen before. “Hello Kuro, I’m a friend of Shinra’s, Izaya Orihara. He sent me to bring you home,” Izaya said with a smile. He has a funny jacket on.

               “You can’t just barge in here and take our child!” Mrs. Otogai bumbled into the room with her son right behind her. His cheek had a cut on it.

               Izaya laughed, a smirk popping onto his face. He gave me a wink before turning to Mrs. Otogai. “Kuro no longer needs your care. I’ve already spoken to the Awakusu about your treatment of a 3-year-old child.” His words silenced the old hag. “Ready to go?”

               He didn’t feel safe, not like Shinra did. The way he talked and acted. I shouldn’t trust him… but he’s a friend of Shinra. Nothing could be worse than being here. The room tilted as I stood up. Familiar heavy footsteps bound up the stairs. Hiding behind Izaya, I peeked to see Mr. Otogai.

               “Who the hell are you?” His deep voice scared me.

               Izaya stuffed his hand into this jacket pocket. “Just an information broker running an errand for a friend. Kuro’s new legal guardian is expecting her.” He wanted a fight. The grin on his face, and the way he held his hand down in his pocket like he had a weapon.

               Mr. Otogai stormed over, reaching down to grab me. Izaya swiftly used his knife to cut his palm, and used his free arm to lift me up. What is going on? No one has ever fought over me before. Shouldn’t they be glad to see me go?

               “Kuro! Tell this young man that you’d like to stay here,” Mrs. Otogai said through clenched teeth. More threats.

               The room fell silent as they awaited the answer that they’d drilled into me. Always say that I want to stay here. Say that I like it. Chewing on my lip, I replied, “I… I want to…” What do I say? Will they get me back and kill me for not saying that I want to stay? The thought worried me.

               “Shinra is waiting for you.”

               My head snapped sideways to look at Izaya. Waiting for me? The thought made me smile. “I want to go to Shinra,” I said with all the confidence I could muster.

               Izaya nodded his head and turned his gaze on the family in front of us. “That settles that. Should you cause this little girl any more problems, I’m sure the Awakusu would love to step in and settle the dispute.” Whoever the Awakusu was, it had scared the Otogai family into silence. Izaya whisked by them, holding me securely in his arms. Outside there was a car waiting by the road, car seat already inside.

               It was silent in the car for a long time. Izaya had his phone in his hand, typing message after message. He never spoke to me in the car, and we were dropped off at some apartment building. Taking the elevator up to a high floor, Izaya finally looked down at me. “Shinra’s been delayed, so you have to stay here for a little while longer.”

               Trailing behind him into the apartment, I was amazed at how big it was. There was a lady at the second desk, who stood up when we entered the room. In her hand there was a bag of clothes. “I got the things you requested. Is this the little thing that the doctor wants to keep?” Her icy stare was as cold as her words. “Hurry up and come with me-” She reached out to grab me.

               Scurrying away from her, I hid behind Izaya. She’s not a nice lady.

               “Please don’t tell you me actually like this guy,” She said with disgust.

               Izaya laughed and looked down at me. “Now, now, Namie, Kuro doesn’t know you.”

               Namie shoved the bag of clothes into his hands. “She doesn’t know you either, or she wouldn’t be so close to you. You can deal with her, then.” Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked away, back to her desk.

               Izaya took me upstairs and made a bath for me. He’s dangerous. I’d become accustomed being able to pick out which people I should stay away from. For whatever reason, I knew he was a dangerous person, but I didn’t mind being around him. He didn’t seem to know what to do with me, so he let me stay around him.

               I sat on his lap as he typed on a computer, munching on a chocolate chip muffin. How can he keep up with this? The replies on the chatroom were coming in quick and before I could finish a sentence, he’d typed a response and moved his attention to the other computer screen. “The Dollars are a gang,” I said, taking another bite of the warm muffin.

               Izaya nodded his head. “Yes, but where did you learn that?”

               “When I ran away once, a group of mean boys tried to hurt me. They said they were with the Dollars,” I replied. They had called me bad names, like a street rat. That had been a while ago. “I got back at them for hitting me, though.”

               Now he seemed interested in my topic of conversation. “Oh? Did you tell on them?”

               With a shake of my head, I said, “No, I asked them to play a game with me. No one ever thinks that I’ll win.”

               “But you did?”

               A giggled escaped my lips. “Uh-huh! I always win at my games.” He didn’t have to ask me about it, because I wanted to tell him. No one else knew that this happened because of me. It had made the newspaper, I’d saw it a few days later when the Otogai’s had found me. The title read: Two boys killed and one injured in dangerous train game. “I only asked for them to play race the train.”

               The game was simple. I’d learned it from the Otogai’s son. He’d been talking to a friend in his bedroom when I overheard. How one played was to stand at the edge of the train tracks and wait until the last moment to race across without being hit. Whoever waited the longest but made it across, won. He’d participated in a few of them.

               Izaya was completely distracted from the chatroom. The only reason I felt comfortable telling him about it was because of how he made me feel. A dangerous aura floated around him, and for whatever reason, I knew he’d understand. “I’ve heard of it.”

               “They lost by being hit by the train.”

               “Yes, but how did a small thing like you beat a train?” Izaya asked.

               That’s the problem with adults and big kids. They think they know everything. They know that at my height, it isn’t possible to beat a train moving at speeds of 70 miles per hour. Popping the last bite of muffin into my mouth, I hummed to myself until I’d finished it. “I’m not stupid enough to run in front of a moving train.”

               Izaya’s lips twisted up into a smile and he began to laugh. “What a clever little girl you are. I almost like you.”

               There had been so much blood. Screams rang out from the boy who had managed to dodge the biggest blow of the train, only fracturing his spine and he’d been confined to a wheel chair. Others began to gather, checking on him. But I couldn’t take my eyes off the bloody mess of the other two boy’s bodies. The train squealed to a stop. The oldest of the boys had been completely ripped in half by the front of the train. Some hanging piece had pierced into his torso and while the train wheels running over his leg had held that half of his body down, the rest of him still dangled from the front. The second boy however had been tossed off the tracks into the ditch, lying in trash and animal feces.

               The doorbell rang, and Namie crossed the apartment to open the door. “Kuro! I’m so sorry I’m late! I got a last-minute call-”

               He didn’t even finish his explanation by the time I’d run across the room and leaped into his arms. “Shinra!” Holding him tightly with all the strength I had, I finally felt safe. The memory of my past slipped away into the dark parts of my mind.

               Shinra laugh, hugging me back and swinging me side to side in his arms. “I’m so happy to see you.” He thanks Izaya and handed him a big stack of cash. “Let’s go home, Kuro.”

               Home.

               I have a home now. A smile grew on my face and I nodded. Casting one last glance over Shinra’s shoulder at Izaya, I gave a small wave with sly grin. Maybe I do like this Izaya guy, but when the door closed, I relaxed in Shinra’s arms. There’s no reason for me to screw up this opportunity to have a real home. The Otogai deserved everything that I did to them, getting them in so much trouble with the police time and time again. Now it’s time to take care of myself in this free home. Shinra would never hurt me like the Otogai’s did. I like my odds of survival much better in this setting.


End file.
